Last night I had half a hoagie before I fell asleep.

I dreamed I was an ant. Part of a large ant army.  Our Queen was in the middle of negotiating a trade deal with the colony to the West exchange for an embargo against the colony to the North and military support.  Our colony had recently discovered a half eaten hoagie and we were not capable of consuming it fast enough.  Additionally our queen had the foresight to see that she would produce a large about of babies from eating a hoagie nonstop.  The resulting spike in population would not be sustainable when the hoagie was finished.  Therefore the Western colony would help us consume the Hoagie, and we would use it as a bargaining chip in starting a War with a colony in the North.  The Western colony would provide us troops and we would feed them.

I was a soldier and I was following the ant in front of me.  We were assigned the task of moving pieces of the Hoagie into the eastern colony.  Somehow I managed to talk with the ant behind me, perhaps psychically because we didn’t have mouths.

“I don’t trust the Western colony.” said the ant behind me.

“Why?  They’ve never attacked us.”

“That’s because our army is bigger, and we’re stronger.”

“All the more reason to trust that they wont strike.  We are the bigger stronger hand that feeds them now.”

“They are such a quiet colony.  It makes me think they are smarter than we might realize.  Perhaps they have an attack plan and this is part of it.”


We reached the entrance to the Western Colony and fear began to bubble in my gut.  A western ant popped out of the top of the mound.

“Welcome” he said through the psychic vibrations.  “We have prepared fermented fruit juice for us all to get drunk and celebrate!  Please come inside and we shall feast.”

The army marched inside.  I started to hear cracking sounds as I got closer.  When I was one ant’s length from the mound I saw the ant in front of me stop.  But I didn’t stop myself in time and I accidentally nudged him down the hole that was the entrance to the colony.  He fell into the entrance and something inside snatched him and crushed him.  I could sense the fear through his ant eyes before his head was crushed and his exoskeleton crumbled.  I stopped.  Then ant behind me nudged me in the hole.

Then I woke up.  I needed to use the bathroom.


3 thoughts on “Hoagie

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