Jeffrey Westbrook/Studio D wool suit

“I think we should make homosexuality illegal” said the socialite.

“I would like that too, but we would see a spike in crime if we did that” replied the Senator.

“That is a good point.  Why don’t we legalize something else.”

“That’s a good idea.” said the Senator.

“But we should make being Mexican Illegal.” said the socialite.

“I’m sorry sir.  That will also cause a rise in crime.  All those Mexicans will become criminals when the law passes.  In the long-term that may help decrease the number of Mexicans in America.”

“Yes, and all the crimes that Mexicans commit would be committed in Mexico instead.  So our crime rate might drop in the long-term.”

The Senator thought about this for ten seconds.  “Okay, I’ll make being Mexican illegal, if it helps the crime rate.”

“Great.  Another way to help the crime rate is to crack down harder on growing watercress.”

“What?” replied the Senator.

“Yes.  All those shady characters illegally growing watercress are not being hit hard enough by the authorities.” said the socialite.  “If we simply invested more in the War on watercress, then they would stop.”

“I don’t think growing watercress is illegal sir.”

“It isn’t.  Well it should be illegal.”

“Why?” said the Senator.

The socialite looked confused. His proposition seemed so simple.  “How else will we get the warrants to clamp down on those watercress plantations?  If it’s legal we have no authority.”

“But watercress is no more dangerous than swimming pools.”

“But I own a swimming pool.” said the socialite.

The Senator thought of a way to partially sate these legitimate concerns.  “Okay.  I can make homosexuality illegal, but only because watercress is legal now.  Next year when we are spread thin enforcing on the new a homosexuality ban I will push for an increase in the police force, and attach a watercress clause.”

“Thankyou Senator.”



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