A Wonderful Childhood

[This is a story about a character that appears in the last story Jerg.  I have yet to come up with an ending.  Read the last story if you want something complete, read this if you like the last story.]

Beer Bottle Tap Handle from Micromatic

Susie McGee was born into a broken household. Her mother was chronically depressed and would spend her days making dinner for the family and sitting in her rocking chair in silence, and not rocking.
Susie’s father loved Budweiser. He worked as a security guard at the local grocer. Every night he’d bring home a six-pack of Budweiser and drink one during the dinner cooked by Susie’s mother. Then he would have the rest while watching TV until he fell. Susie’s mother always went to the bedroom and fell asleep well before this point. Susie was allowed to stay up, as long as she didn’t talk.

“Where do all these bottles go daddy?”
“You mean the Buds? They all go in the garbage.”
“But where does the garbage go?”
“To a garbage dump far away. Let daddy watch his TV Susie, I’m too tired to talk to you.”
Susie was hoping to ask what happens when the world is overrun with beer bottles. Clearly if they weren’t destroyed or somehow reconstituted into other things then there was a net growth in the number of beer bottles. Taking things to the logical conclusion, the world would eventually run out of space and become overrun with her father’s beer bottles. Flustered because she could not figure out a way around this she went to bed restless, and didn’t get much sleep that night.
The next night she decided to ditch school. Instead of walking to school with her lunch box she waited at the curb for the garbage man to come by. At 10:00am the garbage pulled up to the house and lifted the McGee garbage over the rim of the garbage truck allowing the clanging glass bottles to stream out into the truck. The garbage man noticed Susie watching.
“Hey. What are you doing out here. Should you be in school kid?”
“No. I’m sick.” Susie replied and added a fake cough just for show.
“Okay, none’s of my business.” said the garbage man, as he got back into the truck and drove off with the weekly McGee glass exhibit.
Susie could hear the truck stop about a block east. She ran over to follow and then hid behind a tree. Every couple of minutes the garbage man would cover enough houses to permit moving the truck again, and Susie continued to tag along at a distance so as not to be seen.
At 1:00pm the garbage truck pulled into the “Allied Waste Transfer Station.” Susie wasn’t able to go any further without breaking the law. So she started climbing the fence. The security guard noticed this and pulled her down.
“Hey there little lady. What are you doing in a place like this?”
Susie wasn’t scared, this man was smiling and seemed nice. He reminded her of the school principal.
“I was trying to find where the bottles go.”
“Oh I see. Where are your parents?”
“At home.” Susie replied.
“And where is your home?”
Susie didn’t know how to answer this so she just pointed in a random direction opposite the garbage dump.
“What’s your name. We got to get you home. It isn’t safe here for a little girl.”
“I’m Susie.”
“Hi Susie. My name is Bob Townsend. What is your last name Susie. Mine is Townsend.”
“mine is McGee.”
“Susie McGee. Well wait here in my office. Don’t touch anything.” Susie waited inside the security booth while Bob Townsend went to ask his supervisor what to do with this wandering child. It smelled like paint inside there and looked really new. It was very clean and white. Susie began to get bored. She saw a pickup truck stopped at the light. Perhaps the pickup truck was heading close to her home, and she never got to ride in back of her dad’s truck. But her dad wasn’t here. She left the booth and hopped in bag. The driver was an old man with no hearing, and could not feel the perturbation from Susie among the already heavy vibration of his motor.

The following morning a police knocked on Mr McGee’s door.

“Patrick McGee.  We have your daughter waiting at the station.”

“Oh thank god!”  Susie’s dad began to cry.  “Can I see her?”

“We’d like to take you down for some questions.”  Replied the policeman.

Susie had told the police that she was on an adventure to find where all of her dad’s beer bottles went.  CIting it as a concern of hers because he drinks so much she was afraid the world would be over-run with beer bottles.  After an evaluation Susie was returned to the custody of her parents.  Susie’s father vowed to drink less, and her mother started cooking salads as well as meat.


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